What Do You Want To What?

(Bitter) Sweet 16

2009-04-09T13:04:00.003-05:00

More Cowbell Flair

2009-03-09T21:42:00.003-05:00

My awesome wife sent this to me on Facebook....
Off
The
Hook

Friday Funnies!

2009-03-06T08:45:00.002-05:00

This Quacks Me Up

2009-02-10T16:08:00.003-05:00

My wife's a big Donald Duck fan, so I figured she'd like this :)

Pretty

2009-02-05T15:43:00.002-05:00

The weather pretty much stinks right now. It was below zero this morning. It's been cold, cold, cold for what seems like seven years.
So today, I was looking at my computer, enjoying my beautiful desktop background and thinking back to when my wife took the picture...it was a beautiful, warm day.
Then I realized how much I loved this picture, and figured I'd share it with the rest of the world.
So, enjoy:

Star Trek. Robot Chicken Style!

2009-02-05T12:47:00.002-05:00

Star Trek: The Movie was one of the biggest disappointments of my life when I saw it. I was a HUGE Star Trek fan as a kid and couldn't wait to see it.
Of course, after seeing it, I summed it up in my mind with one word: Huh?!?!
However, the franchise was saved by Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan. This movie became an instant geek cult classic.
The dudes at Robot Chicken have boiled TWOK down into an Italian style opera, and it's all kinds of awesome.

Agnes Strikes Again!

2009-02-01T22:59:00.004-05:00

BINGO!

I love that she looks at her watch!

Some Funky Syncopation!

2009-01-22T16:42:00.003-05:00

It's no secret that I love cartoons. Always have. Always will.
From when I was a kid waking up early on Saturday mornings to watch Superfriends to, well, this morning watching Phineas and Ferb with my youngest.
There was a time when I stopped watching them though. During my teen years and into my twenties, cartoons were TERRIBLE. At some point, the producers of the shows were allowed to change the way they marketed items to kids during cartoon times and from then on, the money for cartoons was put into that...marketing. Not the content of the 'toons, but the commercials and products surrounding them.
So the early stuff was 'good'. The middle stuff...not so good.
What's making (some) cartoons good again is competition! Between the Disney Channel, Cartoon Network, Nic-toons and a few others, there are boatloads of cartoons options out there, so cartoons are getting more and more clever.
Phineas and Ferb are currently my favorite...mostly because I find them clever.
Here is a clip from one of my favorite episodes called: Dude, Were Getting The Band Back Together which is a slight send up of the Blues Brothers.
Enjoy. **Updated with a working link

Politicians Are The New Ninjas...

2009-01-22T10:12:00.004-05:00

Ok,so first Pirates where the new Ninjas. Then Zombies were the new Pirates. Now, Politicians are the new Zombies. So by the Transitive Postulate of Equality*: Politicians are the new Ninjas! Whew! WE'RE SAVED!

*Ninjas = Pirates. Pirates = Zombies. Zombies = Politicians. Ninjas = Politicians! Ta Da!

You Should've Seen It In 2.4 megapixels!

2009-01-21T12:20:00.004-05:00

I saw this picture at Kate Heffernan's site today:
I'm not really sure why I think it's awesome, but I do.

For those of you who don't see what the big deal is...realize that all those kids are holding up the cell phone camera's to take a picture of the moment.

The other day, Matthew and I were listening to a song called "In Color". We talked about how that song demonstrates a HUGE difference between his life, and that of his grandfathers.
The song talks of pictures taken during the Great Depression, WWII and so forth and how they were, obviously, in black and white (or sepia :)
Today's children won't really have a concept of true B&W photos...just ones that are that way for effect. Heck, all the pictures of my life are in color. But you still have to get off my lawn!
The digital age and the ubiquity of digital cameras are going to change the way our kids remember their own unique history.
It's going to be interesting if they remember like their parents and grandparents: The snow was always whiter (and deeper), grass was always greener, politicians were honest, gas was cheap and the sky was clear.

Or, maybe they'll remember with a bit more clarity: Some winters we have lots of snow, some we don't. But we ALWAYS remember the snowy ones better. The grass was greener cause my parents took better care of their lawn than I do, so it's time to grow up and fertilize! Politicians were NEVER honest. We've ALWAYS complained about the price of gas and a blue sky is still just as pretty, but we don't take the time to look at it anymore.

Note to the outgoing President

2009-01-19T17:49:00.001-05:00

Thanks for keeping my family safe for the last 7 years.
It is appreciated.

KTHXBY,
Donnie

DOH!

2009-01-15T14:46:00.004-05:00

New Fav Site: www.icanhasforce.com
This is too funny...

but this is too funnier!

Epic Weather Fail

2009-01-14T14:27:00.002-05:00

Where is global warming when you need it?

It's all a matter of leaverage....

2009-01-12T19:58:00.002-05:00

From one of my favorite blogs, Photo basement comes this gem:

14,528

2009-01-12T16:48:00.003-05:00

In terms of money, it's a good chunk.
In terms of miles driven...it's about a years worth.
It terms of minutes worked, it's about 6 weeks at 40 hours/week
In terms of text messages per month...it's not even believable.
However, this kid did it!

"First, I laughed. I thought, 'That's insane, that's impossible,' " the 45-year-old dad said. "And I immediately whipped out the calculator to see if it was humanly possible."

Stunning. Simply stunning.
This does NOT help my daughters case with wanting a cell phone.

**UPDATE**
According to this article, a Florida girl more than doubled this girls texting total...and the article even goes on to say that a man in India texted more than 135,000 times in one month....

I really should be working...part 1

2009-01-12T15:24:00.002-05:00

I just 'happened' across this today at work.

Evolution of Dance (now Part 1) is a family favorite around our house. I'm fairly certain the boys haven't seen this yet, or else I would have seen it sooner.

Curse You The Internet!

2009-01-12T13:51:00.004-05:00

I, like most I assume, have a love/hate relationship with the internet. This applies to many different facets of using the interwebs, from: loving the information to hating the time wasted, from enjoying the communications to saying to much, and so on.
One of the things I like about the net is the jargon, lexicon, web speak, etc.
One of the most prevalent parts of web speak is the contraction of entire sentences into letters.
The most well know of these is the ubiquitous Laugh Out Loud being contracted into lol.
For the most part, these are harmless little idiosyncrasies of daily life:
lol, rotf, ttfn, FTW, YTMND and the one that helps at work: NSFW. There are many more.

However, among these are the ones that tend to stick in my mind more readily. The ones that are not so harmless.
I remember when I was a kid. (Well, part of me still is!) I used to cuss. A lot.
No, you don't understand. A LOT!
I can still remember walking across the street with my buddy, Brian. We were heading to the Zebra Den arcade to blow some hard earned quarters, and just talking, and in them middle of the street he stopped me and told me that I swore too much. I was a bit taken aback. HE SWORE TOO! But apparently, I was over the top.
I'm pretty sure I learned it from my older brother, who, as the cliche's have it, was a sailor!
But I digress.
Among the net speak initials that get stuck in my head, are the ones that include curse words:
memes like: LMAO, RTFM (a fav), the ever popular STFU, the one the pops into my mind the most: WTF?!?! and the newest one I've read, RFN.
Don't look them up if you don't know them already!

Anyway, when I started hanging out with the girl who would eventually become the love of my life and finally would become my wife, I naturally didn't swear...I didn't even have to try to not swear. Something inside of me knew I shouldn't do it.
As I grew older, started going to church, working with Utes and having children, I had ever more reasons to not swear.
However, I do find my self, more often than I care to admit, repeating these in my mind when the situation arises:
"Matthew! I need that " RFN!
"Yes sir, I think I sent you that info in an email" RTFM!
"So you deleted everything in your email sir?" ROTFLMAO!
"That dude SO cute me off!" WTF!?!?!
And so on and so on.

I've been around cursing all my life. My folks swear, many of my friends swear. Cursing is like Santa Clause...it's everywhere! For the most part, I think I've been inoculated from this bane of original thought and expression.
However, I do have to constantly ward off the urge to use the 'net spoken abbreviations.

37,569,187,200

2009-01-11T12:52:00.004-05:00

Question: What's over thirty-seven billion kilometers long?
Answer: The earth's orbit since I was born.
To put that in perspective, Carl Sagan's Pale Blue Dot was just over 6 billion kilometers in distance from Earth!
E gads!
Oi vey!
Dear goodness!
Holy Middle Age Batman!
That's right...I turn 40 years old today. Foooorrrrrrtttttyyyy!
4 x 10.
That means my wife can trade me in on two twenty year olds. Don't tell her though...she may take you up on it!

Better than a poke in the eye too....

2009-01-09T14:58:00.004-05:00

This is the latest post at my fav online comic: xkcd.com

It's funny how much passion tech people have both for and against technologies. Of course, in the case of Vista, hating it with the white hot passion of a thousand burning suns is completely justified!

Epic Cake

2009-01-09T14:50:00.003-05:00

Wow. Just Wow.
This is a cake. And it's a dragon.

So, the question is: Is this a cake made to look like a dragon or is it a dragon, made of cake?
In any case, this is seriously over the edge cool.
To see the other pics in this photo stream, click HERE

Epic Rush

2009-01-06T15:06:00.002-05:00

This video shows, in a span of about 3 minutes, just how un-thrilling my life is...and the rub is, I didn't even know it!

wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.
To paraphrase a Barbara Mandrell song, "If not jumping off cliffs to get your fix is wrong, I don't want to be right!"
You may have to read that a couple of times before you get my meaning....
Elbow.
And.
Send.

Perspective: 2009

2009-01-05T11:36:00.000-05:00

If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when, no fault of yours, things go wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can ignore a friend’s limited education and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can say honestly that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, or politics,
Then, my Brother, you are as good as your dog.
– Author unknown

Epic Fail!

2008-12-23T09:28:00.003-05:00

Flying!

Ur doin' it rong!

Automobile Editorial

2008-12-08T15:06:00.003-05:00

I'm a proud member for Ford Motor Company family. I love working there and have since the first day I started.
Lately, there's been a whole load of junk thrown our way because of the so-called 'bailout'.
I read this editorial the other day, and figured I'd share it. It was sent to me, so I can't source it directly, but if I can I will, in order to give credit where credit is due.
I didn't right this, I just agree with it:

Editor:
As I watch the coverage of the fate of the U.S. auto industry, one alarming and frustrating fact hits me right between the eyes. The fate of our nation's economic survival is in the hands of some congressmen who are completely out of touch and act without knowledge of an industry that affects almost every person in our nation. The same lack of knowledge is shared with many journalists whom are irresponsible when influencing the opinion of millions of viewers.
Sen. Richard Shelby of Alabama has doomed the industry, calling it a dinosaur. No Mr. Shelby, you are the dinosaur, with ideas stuck in the '70s, '80s and '90s. You and the uninformed journalist and senators that hold onto myths that are not relevant in today's world.
When you say that the Big Three build vehicles nobody wants to buy, you must have overlooked that GM outsold Toyota by about 1.2 million vehicles in the U.S. and Ford outsold Honda by 850,000 and Nissan by 1.2 million in the U.S. GM was the world's No. 1 automaker beating Toyota by 3,000 units.
When you claim inferior quality comes from the Big Three, did you realize that Chevy makes the Malibu and Ford makes the Fusion that were both rated over the Camry and Accord by J.D. Power independent survey on initial quality? Did you bother to read the Consumer Report that rated Ford on par with good Japanese automakers.
Did you realize Big Three's gas guzzlers include the 33 mpg Malibu that beats the Accord. And for '09 Ford introduces the Hybrid Fusion whose 39 mpg is the best midsize, beating the Camry Hybrid. Ford's Focus beats the Corolla and Chevy's Cobalt beats the Civic.
When you ask how many times are we going to bail them out you must be referring to 1980. The only Big Three bailout was Chrysler, who paid back $1 billion, plus interest. GM and Ford have never received government aid.
When you criticize the Big Three for building so many pickups, surely you've noticed the attempts Toyota and Nissan have made spending billions to try to get a piece of that pie. Perhaps it bothers you that for 31 straight years Ford's F-Series has been the best selling vehicle. Ford and GM have dominated this market and when you see the new '09 F-150 you'll agree this won't change soon.
Did you realize that both GM and Ford offer more hybrid models than Nissan or Honda. Between 2005 and 2007, Ford alone has invested more than $22 billion in research and development of technologies such as Eco Boost, flex fuel, clean diesel, hybrids, plug in hybrids and hydrogen cars.
It's 2008 and the quality of the vehicles coming out of Detroit are once again the best in the world.
Perhaps Sen. Shelby isn't really that blind. Maybe he realizes the quality shift to American. Maybe it's the fact that his state of Alabama has given so much to land factories from Honda, Hyundai and Mercedes Benz that he is more concerned about their continued growth than he is about the people of our country. Sen. Shelby's disdain for "government subsidies" is very hypocritical. In the early '90s he was the driving force behind a $253 million incentive package to Mercedes. Plus, Alabama agreed to purchase 2,500 vehicles from Mercedes. While the bridge loan the Big Three is requesting will be paid back, Alabama's $180,000-plus per job was pure incentive. Sen. Shelby, not only are you out of touch, you are a self-serving hypocrite, who is prepared to ruin our nation because of lack of knowledge and lack of due diligence in making your opinions and decisions.
After 9/11, the Detroit Three and Harley Davidson gave $40 million-plus emergency vehicles to the recovery efforts. What was given to the 9/11 relief effort by the Asian and European Auto Manufactures? $0 Nada. Zip!
We live in a world of free trade, world economy and we have not been able to produce products as cost efficiently. While the governments of other auto producing nations subsidize their automakers, our government may be ready to force its demise. While our automakers have paid union wages, benefits and legacy debt, our Asian competitors employ cheap labor. We are at an extreme disadvantage in production cost. Although many UAW concessions begin in 2010, many lawmakers think it's not enough.
Some point the blame to corporate management. I would like to speak of Ford Motor Co. The company has streamlined by reducing our workforce by 51,000 since 2005, closing 17 plants and cutting expenses. Product and future product is excellent and the company is focused on one Ford. This is a company poised for success. Ford product quality and corporate management have improved light years since the nightmare of Jacques Nasser. Thank you Alan Mulally and the best auto company management team in the business.
The financial collapse caused by the secondary mortgage fiasco and the greed of Wall Street has led to a $700 billion bailout of the industry that created the problem. AIG spent nearly $1 million on three company excursions to lavish resorts and hunting destinations. Paulson is saying no to $250 billion foreclosure relief and the whole thing is a mess. So when the Big Three ask for 4 percent of that of the $700 billion, $25 billion to save the country's largest industry, there is obviously oppositions. But does it make sense to reward the culprits of the problem with $700 billion unconditionally, and ignore the victims?
As a Ford dealer, I feel our portion of the $25 billion will never be touched and is not necessary. Ford currently has $29 billion of liquidity. However, the effect of a bankruptcy by GM will hurt the suppliers we all do business with. A Chapter 11 bankruptcy by any manufacture would cost retirees their health care and retirements. Chances are GM would recover from Chapter 11 with a better business plan with much less expense. So who foots the bill if GM or all three go Chapter 11? All that extra health care, unemployment, loss of tax base and some forgiven debt goes back to the taxpayer, us. With no chance of repayment, this would be much worse than a loan with the intent of repayment.
So while it is debatable whether a loan or Chapter 11 is better for the Big Three, a $25 billion loan is definitely better for the taxpayers and the economy of our country.
So I'll end where I began on the quality of the products of Detroit. Before you, Mr. or Ms. Journalist continue to misinform the American public and turn them against one of the great industries that helped build this nation, I must ask you one question. Before you, Mr. or Madam Congressman vote to end health care and retirement benefits for 1 million retirees, eliminate 2.5 million of our nation's jobs, lose the technology that will lead us in the future and create an economic disaster including hundreds of billions of tax dollars lost, I ask this question not in the rhetorical sense. I ask it in the sincere, literal way. Can you tell me, have you driven a Ford lately?
- Jim Jackson

***UPDATE**
Here is a link to Jim Jackson's interview on Fox News:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAOGHmgTuv8

Geek Love

2008-11-22T13:40:00.002-05:00

Not sure why, but I think this is funny.

Giving Thanks

2008-11-21T13:11:00.002-05:00

Here's an interesting story from the Kids section of the LA Times:
--Click Here--

When you were in school, did they teach you that Thanksgiving was about how the 'Indians' saved the Pilgrims and the Pilgrims were so happy, they had a feast?
I was.

This isn't really well taught in schools...and hasn't been for as long as I've been alive.

No More Politics

2008-11-07T12:17:00.002-05:00

Ok, that's it for the politics for this blog.
I'm gonna start a different blog to handle that stuff.

President Elect Obama - another comment

2008-11-06T16:12:00.003-05:00

Seriously, I hope he does awesome.
However, I'm starting to feel a bit sorry for the guy.
Everyone I've talked to or read who are Obama supporters seem to think the guy farts rainbows and unicorns.
Seriously, he's only human folks. Much to the chagrin of 53% of the voters think, the guy isn't the messiah.

(BTW, 53% is neither a landslide nor a mandate.)

President Elect Obama

2008-11-05T09:09:00.002-05:00

Well, I guess that's that!
While I'm not particularly happy with the result, I'm very happy it's over.
The republicans got their hats handed to them last night, and, for the most part deserved it. I'm not sure how, in a state that's been governed by Democrats for several years, that's had the worst economy of the whole country for much of that time, how it could be that the ruling party PICKS UP SEATS! The only answer is that the morons the republicans ran against the morons that are in state government were, well, morons.

That said, I know people who are SCARED now. Very scared.
Scared for the auto industry, which is my personal Bread and Butter.
Scared for their future where they believe they will be targeted for higher taxes.
Scared for a future where government bureaucrats decide what health care they will receive.
Scared for the further indoctrination of their children regarding issues that are strongly held, either religious, personal or both.

To that, I say....Let's wait and see.
Sen Obama won, and now let's see what he'll do with it. Give him a chance...we've got no choice.
For this, I have a great example of what can happen.

The last time the Dems had this much power was (anyone? anyone?): 1992.
Bill Clinton was elected Presmenent and both Houses of Congress were controlled by democrats. And they got all frisky.
If you remember, there was talk of nationalizing health care (Hillary was put in charge of that), there was talk of raising taxes to fund more social programs, particularly drug awareness and family planning. As well as huge deficits "as far as the eye could see" was the quote of the day back then.
All that changed with the Contract With America, Newt Gingrich and the 1994 Republican House and Senate victories.
What we ended up with was 6 years of: lower taxes, welfare reforms and *gasp* a balanced budget (for like 15 minutes).
We also ended up with a Smoking hot economy, a wildly successful auto industry, a housing market that just recently busted and 401(k) plans that went through the roof.
We won't mention the bombing of our embassies, the USS Cole nor the first bombing of the World Trade Center...I only bring those up to remind everyone that just cause a Democrat is in office doesn't mean the world loves us.

So, here's hoping Barry does well and we don't need to elect a bunch of Republicans in two years.
Or, here's hoping that he over-reaches his bounds, like Clinton, and we get an active, smart conservative movement growing in this country again and the balance of power is again shared between the two parties.
Or, here's hoping that the world hates us less and at least doesn't start bombing our stuff again.
Or, here's hoping that we move to Australia.

Vote 2008

2008-11-03T15:00:00.002-05:00

Being a libertarian, I'm often very frustrated come Presidential elections. I generally don't completely agree with either the Democrat nor the Republican candidates and the Libertarian candidate is generally a nutter.
While Bob Barr isn't a nutter, this year I'm again on the presipice of voting against someone rather than voting for someone. Well, there is a small caveat there...(I'm looking at you Sarah)
I look at the positions and character of both the major candidates and I just can't see how I could possibly pull the lever for Obama.
Here's what I look at:

McCain Cons:
He leans WAY to far left for me: McCain-Fiengold Campaign Finance Reform and McCain-Kennedy Immigration Reform are just two examples where John McCain leans across the aisle to find common ground...but in both cases the resulting efforts were bad.
He's wrong on energy. Drill here, drill now.

McCain Pros:
His stance on the surge was spot on. If he's elected, we'll be out of Irag by the summer. And we'll have won.

He's promised to try and extend the Bush tax cuts
Say what you will about the man, but he's got great character...he's stayed away from the mudslinging the Carl Rove made millions with.

Sarah Palin.
Sarah Palin.
Sarah Palin.

Obama Pros:
He reads a mean speech.

Obama Cons:
His judgment: The people he has surrounded himself with his ENTIRE political career are either criminals or extreme leftists or both.

His stance on the surge. If he's elected we'll be out of Iraq by the summer. And we'll have lost.

He's dead wrong on energy, even to the point where he told the San Francisco Chronicle that he'd LIKE to destroy the entire coal industry. Fun.

We can argue about Abortion all day...fine. However in the Illinois legislature he supported denying care to babies that were to be aborted but something went wrong and they WERE BORN!!! Understand this: This man voted to make it law that if a baby was to be aborted, but was born alive anyway, all care was removed from this baby and it was put in a seperate room (closet) to die....alone. Dude.

His experience: He was on the national level for 177 days before he decided to run for President. That alone stuns me.

Finally, he said (I heard him) that the Constitution is a flawed document of negative rights. That the constitution does a fine job of saying what the government cannot do to it's citizens but doesn't say anything about what it should do to or for them. Um...actually, that's all the constitution does...it PROTECTS OUR RIGHTS. That's pretty positive to me. This shows a fundamental difference in understanding the constitution betweem myself and Mr. Obama.

I'd love to see someone run for president who:
Thinks that the country is WAY over taxed and over regulated
Trusts it's citizens enough to not treat them like infants (I'm looking at you Patriot Act)
Understands that Supply Side economics not only works, but works better than anything else ever tried.
Realizes that people have a Right to ACCESS health care, but not a right TO health care. (BIG DIFFERENCE)
By extension-realize what a right is, and not pander to the lowest common denominator.

Harrison Bergeron

2008-10-30T12:08:00.002-05:00

There are a few (non-Bible-centric) stories that shaped my thinking early on in life. They include:
Leiningen versus the Ants
Rikki-Tikki-Tavi
The Cask of Amontillado
To the Virgins, Make Much of Time
Harlem
among many others...
However, the one that has effected me the most, is the story of Harrison Bergeron.

Harrison Bergeron

by Kurt Vonnegut (1961)

THE YEAR WAS 2081, and everybody was finally equal. They weren’t only equal before God and the law. They were equal every which way. Nobody was smarter than anybody else. Nobody was better looking than anybody else. Nobody was stronger or quicker than anybody else. All this equality was due to the 211th, 212th, and 213th Amendments to the Constitution, and to the unceasing vigilance of agents of the United States Handicapper General.

Some things about living still weren’t quite right, though. April, for instance, still drove people crazy by not being springtime. And it was in that clammy month that the H-G men took George and Hazel Bergeron’s fourteen-year-old son, Harrison, away.

It was tragic, all right, but George and Hazel couldn’t think about it very hard. Hazel had a perfectly average intelligence, which meant she couldn’t think about anything except in short bursts. And George, while his intelligence was way above normal, had a little mental handicap radio in his ear. He was required by law to wear it at all times. It was tuned to a government transmitter. Every twenty seconds or so, the transmitter would send out some sharp noise to keep people like George from taking unfair advantage of their brains.

George and Hazel were watching television. There were tears on Hazel’s cheeks, but she’d forgotten for the moment what they were about.

On the television screen were ballerinas.

A buzzer sounded in George’s head. His thoughts fled in panic, like bandits from a burglar alarm.

“That was a real pretty dance, that dance they just did,” said Hazel.

“Huh?” said George.

“That dance – it was nice,” said Hazel.

“Yup,” said George. He tried to think a little about the ballerinas. They weren’t really very good – no better than anybody else would have been, anyway. They were burdened with sashweights and bags of birdshot, and their faces were masked, so that no one, seeing a free and graceful gesture or a pretty face, would feel like something the cat drug in. George was toying with the vague notion that maybe dancers shouldn’t be handicapped. But he didn’t get very far with it before another noise in his ear radio scattered his thoughts.

George winced. So did two out of the eight ballerinas.

Hazel saw him wince. Having no mental handicap herself she had to ask George what the latest sound had been.

“Sounded like somebody hitting a milk bottle with a ball peen hammer,” said George.

“I’d think it would be real interesting, hearing all the different sounds,” said Hazel, a little envious. “All the things they think up.”

“Um,” said George.

“Only, if I was Handicapper General, you know what I would do?” said Hazel. Hazel, as a matter of fact, bore a strong resemblance to the Handicapper General, a woman named Diana Moon Glampers. “If I was Diana Moon Glampers,” said Hazel, “I’d have chimes on Sunday – just chimes. Kind of in honor of religion.”

“I could think, if it was just chimes,” said George.

“Well – maybe make ‘em real loud,” said Hazel. “I think I’d make a good Handicapper General.”

“Good as anybody else,” said George.

“Who knows better’n I do what normal is?” said Hazel.

“Right,” said George. He began to think glimmeringly about his abnormal son who was now in jail, about Harrison, but a twenty-one-gun salute in his head stopped that.

“Boy!” said Hazel, “that was a doozy, wasn’t it?”

It was such a doozy that George was white and trembling and tears stood on the rims of his red eyes. Two of the eight ballerinas had collapsed to the studio floor, were holding their temples.

“All of a sudden you look so tired,” said Hazel. “Why don’t you stretch out on the sofa, so’s you can rest your handicap bag on the pillows, honeybunch.” She was referring to the forty-seven pounds of birdshot in canvas bag, which was padlocked around George’s neck. “Go on and rest the bag for a little while,” she said. “I don’t care if you’re not equal to me for a while.”

George weighed the bag with his hands. “I don’t mind it,” he said. “I don’t notice it any more. It’s just a part of me.

“You been so tired lately – kind of wore out,” said Hazel. “If there was just some way we could make a little hole in the bottom of the bag, and just take out a few of them lead balls. Just a few.”

“Two years in prison and two thousand dollars fine for every ball I took out,” said George. “I don’t call that a bargain.”

“If you could just take a few out when you came home from work,” said Hazel. “I mean – you don’t compete with anybody around here. You just set around.”

“If I tried to get away with it,” said George, “then other people’d get away with it and pretty soon we’d be right back to the dark ages again, with everybody competing against everybody else. You wouldn’t like that, would you?”

“I’d hate it,” said Hazel.

“There you are,” said George. “The minute people start cheating on laws, what do you think happens to society?”

If Hazel hadn’t been able to come up with an answer to this question, George couldn’t have supplied one. A siren was going off in his head.

“Reckon it’d fall all apart,” said Hazel.

“What would?” said George blankly.

“Society,” said Hazel uncertainly. “Wasn’t that what you just said?”

“Who knows?” said George.

The television program was suddenly interrupted for a news bulletin. It wasn’t clear at first as to what the bulletin was about, since the announcer, like all announcers, had a serious speech impediment. For about half a minute, and in a state of high excitement, the announcer tried to say, “Ladies and gentlemen – ”

He finally gave up, handed the bulletin to a ballerina to read.

“That’s all right –” Hazel said of the announcer, “he tried. That’s the big thing. He tried to do the best he could with what God gave him. He should get a nice raise for trying so hard.”

“Ladies and gentlemen” said the ballerina, reading the bulletin. She must have been extraordinarily beautiful, because the mask she wore was hideous. And it was easy to see that she was the strongest and most graceful of all the dancers, for her handicap bags were as big as those worn by two-hundred-pound men.

And she had to apologize at once for her voice, which was a very unfair voice for a woman to use. Her voice was a warm, luminous, timeless melody. “Excuse me – ” she said, and she began again, making her voice absolutely uncompetitive.

“Harrison Bergeron, age fourteen,” she said in a grackle squawk, “has just escaped from jail, where he was held on suspicion of plotting to overthrow the government. He is a genius and an athlete, is under–handicapped, and should be regarded as extremely dangerous.”

A police photograph of Harrison Bergeron was flashed on the screen – upside down, then sideways, upside down again, then right side up. The picture showed the full length of Harrison against a background calibrated in feet and inches. He was exactly seven feet tall.

The rest of Harrison’s appearance was Halloween and hardware. Nobody had ever worn heavier handicaps. He had outgrown hindrances faster than the H–G men could think them up. Instead of a little ear radio for a mental handicap, he wore a tremendous pair of earphones, and spectacles with thick wavy lenses. The spectacles were intended to make him not only half blind, but to give him whanging headaches besides.

Scrap metal was hung all over him. Ordinarily, there was a certain symmetry, a military neatness to the handicaps issued to strong people, but Harrison looked like a walking junkyard. In the race of life, Harrison carried three hundred pounds.

And to offset his good looks, the H–G men required that he wear at all times a red rubber ball for a nose, keep his eyebrows shaved off, and cover his even white teeth with black caps at snaggle–tooth random.

“If you see this boy,” said the ballerina, “do not – I repeat, do not – try to reason with him.”

There was the shriek of a door being torn from its hinges.

Screams and barking cries of consternation came from the television set. The photograph of Harrison Bergeron on the screen jumped again and again, as though dancing to the tune of an earthquake.

George Bergeron correctly identified the earthquake, and well he might have – for many was the time his own home had danced to the same crashing tune. “My God –” said George, “that must be Harrison!”

The realization was blasted from his mind instantly by the sound of an automobile collision in his head.

When George could open his eyes again, the photograph of Harrison was gone. A living, breathing Harrison filled the screen.

Clanking, clownish, and huge, Harrison stood in the center of the studio. The knob of the uprooted studio door was still in his hand. Ballerinas, technicians, musicians, and announcers cowered on their knees before him, expecting to die.

“I am the Emperor!” cried Harrison. “Do you hear? I am the Emperor! Everybody must do what I say at once!” He stamped his foot and the studio shook.

“Even as I stand here –” he bellowed, “crippled, hobbled, sickened – I am a greater ruler than any man who ever lived! Now watch me become what I can become!”

Harrison tore the straps of his handicap harness like wet tissue paper, tore straps guaranteed to support five thousand pounds.

Harrison’s scrap–iron handicaps crashed to the floor.

Harrison thrust his thumbs under the bar of the padlock that secured his head harness. The bar snapped like celery. Harrison smashed his headphones and spectacles against the wall.

He flung away his rubber–ball nose, revealed a man that would have awed Thor, the god of thunder.

“I shall now select my Empress!” he said, looking down on the cowering people. “Let the first woman who dares rise to her feet claim her mate and her throne!”

A moment passed, and then a ballerina arose, swaying like a willow.

Harrison plucked the mental handicap from her ear, snapped off her physical handicaps with marvelous delicacy. Last of all, he removed her mask.

She was blindingly beautiful.

“Now” said Harrison, taking her hand, “shall we show the people the meaning of the word dance? Music!” he commanded.

The musicians scrambled back into their chairs, and Harrison stripped them of their handicaps, too. “Play your best,” he told them, “and I’ll make you barons and dukes and earls.”

The music began. It was normal at first – cheap, silly, false. But Harrison snatched two musicians from their chairs, waved them like batons as he sang the music as he wanted it played. He slammed them back into their chairs.

The music began again and was much improved.

Harrison and his Empress merely listened to the music for a while – listened gravely, as though synchronizing their heartbeats with it.

They shifted their weights to their toes.

Harrison placed his big hands on the girl’s tiny waist, letting her sense the weightlessness that would soon be hers.

And then, in an explosion of joy and grace, into the air they sprang!

Not only were the laws of the land abandoned, but the law of gravity and the laws of motion as well.

They reeled, whirled, swiveled, flounced, capered, gamboled, and spun.

They leaped like deer on the moon.

The studio ceiling was thirty feet high, but each leap brought the dancers nearer to it. It became their obvious intention to kiss the ceiling.

They kissed it.

And then, neutralizing gravity with love and pure will, they remained suspended in air inches below the ceiling, and they kissed each other for a long, long time.

It was then that Diana Moon Glampers, the Handicapper General, came into the studio with a double-barreled ten-gauge shotgun. She fired twice, and the Emperor and the Empress were dead before they hit the floor.

Diana Moon Glampers loaded the gun again. She aimed it at the musicians and told them they had ten seconds to get their handicaps back on.

It was then that the Bergerons’ television tube burned out.

Hazel turned to comment about the blackout to George.

But George had gone out into the kitchen for a can of beer.

George came back in with the beer, paused while a handicap signal shook him up. And then he sat down again. “You been crying?” he said to Hazel.

“Yup,” she said,

“What about?” he said.

“I forget,” she said. “Something real sad on television.”

“What was it?” he said.

“It’s all kind of mixed up in my mind,” said Hazel.

“Forget sad things,” said George.

“I always do,” said Hazel.

“That’s my girl,” said George. He winced. There was the sound of a riveting gun in his head.

“Gee – I could tell that one was a doozy,” said Hazel.

“You can say that again,” said George.

“Gee –” said Hazel, “I could tell that one was a doozy.”

The Stuff Of Nightmares!

2008-10-30T11:52:00.002-05:00

No, no, no...not an Obama-Biden Administration!
How about a GIANT BIRD EATING SPIDER!!!
Dear Lord this is spooky:

Read the whole story HERE.
It's not unheard of (in Australia) to have this happen but it's rare.

Note to self: Australia may be a nice place to visit, but you don't want to live there!

We Win!

2008-10-30T09:20:00.003-05:00

Ok, I've been following the difference in the weather between Oakland California and Wayne Michigan for the last 3 years. In all that time, I think this is only the second or third time that we've had a better 4 day stretch of weather (not withstanding the temperature) than they have:

Now, if only John McCain can have as nice of a 4 days stretch as Wayne....

ATM Procedures....

2008-10-28T09:22:00.001-05:00

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'
MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet..
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Editorial note by Donnie:
I know lots and lots of women. None of them, NOT ONE, of them would act like this.
They would never use their parking brakes!

More Boston Globe Pics

2008-10-17T14:22:00.003-05:00

Ok,if you don't find these awesome (or at least cool) then you don't like babies either.
And, you're mean.
And you dress funny.
Click through for some sweet wildlife photos, like:

and

I love that site.

This is for you honey!

2008-10-17T10:15:00.000-05:00

From xkdc this morning

Here Comes The Sun

2008-10-14T13:37:00.003-05:00

My favorite photo blog had some new pics up yesterday. There are 21 pictures of the sun during some of it's most 'active' times.
Apparently, right now, the sun is fairly quite. That's kind of an odd thought. The sun just kind of seems, you know....there. Not really 'active' or 'in-active'. Just there. Far out.

The Best We Can Do

2008-10-08T08:22:00.002-05:00

Three Hundred MILLION people in this country, and these two clowns are the best we can come up with for President? Depressing.

Joke? Hmmm....

2008-10-07T12:47:00.003-05:00

Question: What do Barak Obama and Osama Bin Laden have in common?
Answer: They both count as friends people who have bombed the Pentagon
I'm just sayin'....

WHAT DO YOU WANT? Um, a sandwich? WHEN DO YOU WANT IT? Whenever's ok.

2008-09-02T14:08:00.003-05:00

Here in the Metro Detroit Area, we are well familiar with the Labor Movement. Between the UAW, the different teachers unions, the Teamsters etc. we've seen strikes and threats of strikes for longer than I've been alive.
I can even remember my mother putting a sandwich board kind of placard on me when I was young to march in front of the Board of Education in my neighborhood.
Today is the first day of school for my kids. We were wondering if it would start because of the threat of a strike by the teachers. Now, I'm not gonna pick sides, cause I don't know enough about either sides issues, but last week on one of my favorite blogs, a cartoon about strike picketing was posted and I thought I would share it here with you:

Click to view the whole page and surf a bit!

Don't Beat Around The Bush....

2008-08-29T20:41:00.002-05:00

HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK
1. Open a new file in your computer.

2. Name it 'Barack Obama'.

3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.

4. Empty the Recycle Bin.

5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama?'

6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'

7. Feel better?

GOOD! - Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi

Thanks Sis Kathy!!!!

Perspective....

2008-08-20T08:45:00.003-05:00

keep watching...you'll see.

More Nerd Stuff

2008-08-08T15:07:00.003-05:00

I've mentioned the Large Hadron Collider a few times lately. This weekend they actually start testing it out which is cool.
They are hoping to start smashing stuff and experimenting September 10th.
Anyways...if you want to learn a bit more about what the LHC is and what it's supposed to do, some nerds got together and busted out a musical tutorial:

I don't wanna grow up...

2008-08-05T14:04:00.003-05:00

You should feel sorry for my wife.
No. Really. You should.
She has (has?) to live with me. Now, it's not that I'm just a horrible person...I don't think that's it.
I don't abuse her or the kids. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs...all that stuff so you don't have to feel sorry for her over that kind of stuff.
But, apparently, I have a hard time "putting away childish things" as Paul would say.
I love cartoons....love superhero movies...and now, am totally in love with a new ~~toy~~ model!

I saw this on Gizmodo today, along with a sweet review and starting drooling.
I've ALWAYS wanted a Millennium Falcon model (NOT TOY!!!! MODEL!!!!), at least since 1978 or so (the first time I saw Star Wars). But, they are all so expensive. This one is $150.00. For a ~~toy~~ model!
But, I can just see it now...sitting in our computer room, next to my Mustang Collection...[sigh]

Anyways...if you see my wife...pat her on the back, and tell her you feel for her.
Oh...gotta go...the New Wonder Woman DVD cartoon trailer is about to start!

Here's a more in depth review (video)

Legacy Collection Millenium Falcon from Jesse Alexander on Vimeo.
-Note the dude who is doing the videos' dogs names are George and Lucas

The cutest story you'll read today

2008-08-01T11:43:00.002-05:00

No, seriously...this is cute. Click here to read.

Not sure what it is, but it looks cool

2008-08-01T11:13:00.003-05:00

I've been reading about the Large Hadron Collider for the last few years. Now it's nearing completion.
Here are some pictures as it nears completion.

More pics at are here

4 seconds of fun, 1 hour of pain

2008-07-30T13:10:00.001-05:00

Space-porn

2008-07-28T10:25:00.005-05:00

I love pictures of outer space stuff...it doesn't matter what:
Planets, Galaxies, Suns and stars...whatever it is, I think it's cool to look at.
One of the blogs that I read recently posted pictures of Jupiter that I really loved...you should love it too!

Views of Jupiter

All of the above....

2008-07-09T15:09:00.003-05:00

From "The Onion"

Dude...where's my car?

2008-05-28T10:33:00.005-05:00

I told you not to park near the lava flow...but do you listen to me? Nooooo!

Reality.....

2008-05-28T08:58:00.000-05:00

Saving a life.....

2008-05-15T14:21:00.002-05:00

Ur doin' it rong!

Oakland Wins....

2008-05-14T15:21:00.002-05:00

I've been tagged

2008-05-06T20:20:00.003-05:00

Here are the rules:

1. Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you.

2. Post THE RULES on your blog.

3. Post 7 weird or random facts about yourself on your blog.

4. Tag 7 people and link to them.

5. Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged.

Random Facts About Me:
1. I don't know 7 other bloggers!
Oh, wait! That'd be cheating!

1a. I've never been in trouble with the law, but I have had the police called on me. 10 or 11 year old me and some buddies of mine (ok, it was mostly me) were lighting fires in the alleyway behind some neighbors houses. One of the (mean) neighbors had the gall to call the police. I got away from the law, but one of the kids in the neighborhood saw it all go down and told my brother, who in turn told my mom.
It was the only time in my life that I can remember getting a spanking from my dad. PLUS I was grounded to my room for 3 straight days. I could only come out to go to the bathroom.

2. I've only been in one real fight in my entire life. I was in 5th grade and it was with Tommy Harding (I think). We both stunk at fighting so no one would have got hurt, except for Mike Riggits, who kept trying to kick me while we were rolling on the ground, but kept kicking Tommy. The thing about Mike is, he was the boy in school who wore cowboy boots. So he really got Tommy good a couple of times. Tommy and I became friends after that. I still don't like Mike Riggits.

3. I've a penchant for saying (what can be interpreted as) inappropriate things in public settings. Now, mind you, I (almost) never mean to be mean or inapproriate...things just pop into my head as funny, clever or some combination of the two and that little guy in your brain that looks at things that you say before you say them, giggles and says "Um. NO!" is usually on a bathroom break when those things pop into my head.
If you know me, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

4. Most of the people that I truly admire probably don't have any idea how much I admire them. I'm REALLY bad at the whole emotion thing. Seriously. I'm pretty sure if I started telling them (and you don't know who you are!) I'd start crying and stuff. So, instead, I just end up feeling like an insensitive jerk because I have a hard time with this. This mostly applies to guys more that the gals. Not sure why, but it's pretty much always been the case that I can talk to women about my 'feelings' more than I can guys. So, if you think I'm a jerk, chances are, I really look up to you!

5. My all time favorite song is Turn The Page by Bob Seger. When my twins were wee little babies and my wife had the temerity to leave me alone with them, I would pull out my Live Bullet album and put Turn The Page on Repeat in order to get them to take their naps. Let me tell you, it worked EVERY time.

6. I, like most people who frequent the internets, have a routine when I log in: First to Google for My Bookmarks. Then, right click and open in a New Tab in this order: AskMen.com, ATT-Yahoo (for Comics), Dilbert.com, iWon.com (more comics...are you sensing a trend?), KevinAndKell.com (yet another comic). Next I check my blogs if any are on the RSS: Holland and Eden, io9.com, Whatever, XKCD, lol-cats, Wil Wheaton, Indexed Photobasement Daniel Negreanu Dr. Horrible and every Friday, Freakangels. Then it's time to work!

7. I don't have a tattoo...however, if I did, it would look like this:

Monday Moanin' Blues

2008-04-14T08:06:00.000-05:00

see more crazy cat pics

15 years ago...

2008-04-07T10:17:00.004-05:00

I hear Leesha
Singing in heaven tonight
And in between the sadness
I hear Leesha
Telling me that she's alright
-Micheal W. Smith

It's been fifteen years since we lost our first child, and I can still remember so much, so vividly.

I remember telling my wife Yes. She could stop taking the little pill everyday, cause it was time to get pregnant. Her smile is still burned in my mind.
I remember my wife coming to the bowling alley, telling me she hasn't felt the baby move in a while. But that happens, right? I bowled a 300 game that night. It really wouldn't bother me if I never bowl another one.
I remember hearing nothing on the fetal monitor at the doctors office.
I remember putting my hand on her stomach on our way to the hospital, praying the most fervent prayer of my life....it went unheard.
I remember watching the ultrasound monitor I'd watched so many times before, except there was no flutter in the heart.
I remember remembering that during the child birthing classes, they told us coaches to remind the mothers that it'll be worth all the pain of childbirth and it'll all fade away when you hear that baby cry....I had to think of something else. Couldn't.
I remember one of the doctors, who had recently found out she was pregnant herself, coming into our room in the middle of the night, sitting on the edge of my wifes bed and crying for her.
I remember holding my lifeless daughter in my arms and thinking she had the most beautiful lips. Ever.
I remember thinking no one should ever have to hold their lifeless daughter in their arms.
I remember making the worst decision I've ever made in my entire life...and likely ever will make. I wish we would have buried her ourselves.
I remember going to our apartment by myself the first time afterwards, and walking into the nursery...I've never cried so hard in my life.
I remember walking down the hallway with my wifes cousin, and him telling me if I needed to talk, he was there for me. This was/is way out of character for him, and probably the most compassionate thing anyone has ever said to me.
I remember wishing I could take him up on his offer.
I remember coming home from the hospital with my wife and walking into the nursery with her....that was the saddest moment of my life.
I remember feeling so very helpless.
I remember my wife telling me that it hurt so bad, when she drove down the road she just wanted to drive into a tree to make the pain stop.
I remember feeling so very, very helpless.

I don't know why, but this year it seems that Julie has been on my mind so much more than in recent years. This week, and all it means to my wife and I, has been on the forefront of my mind for the last month or so.

After 15 years, the pain has dulled. The sadness has receded, but not left.
The three children we have are a salve to my soul.
But even so...I still miss her.

Lolsquirrels?

2008-03-28T13:37:00.000-05:00

see more crazy cat pics

Could be....

2008-03-25T10:34:00.002-05:00

I saw this today under the heading:
Quite Possibly The Luckiest Kid in the World

It just made me laugh....

The Preferred Version

2008-03-19T15:41:00.001-05:00

I never really liked this song until I heard this version, but ever since, I've loved BOTH versions:

All The Way To The Crash Site.....

2008-03-12T13:07:00.001-05:00

Quote of the Day....

2008-02-13T12:55:00.001-05:00

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and he'll eat for weeks!
- Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata

Proud Dad....the final chapter....

2008-02-08T22:01:00.000-05:00

Two of my favorite three blonds!

Note how EXCITED Mitch (in yellow) looks in the background!

Proud Father, part deux!

2008-02-02T23:06:00.000-05:00

1, one, won, numero uno, un, ein,ένας, 1 つ, 1개, um, одно! *

They got a 1 at Solo Ensemble!!!! Yeah Marion and Billie!!!!
You guys are AWESOME!!!!

Best line of the day:
Marion to Grandpa: I got a medal!
Grandpa to Marion: What does it say?
Marion to anyone who will listen: It says: "I ROCK!"

Serious props to Aunt Billie (yes, that Aunt Billie) for all her help. Today, when Marion played for the judges, she played the best I've ever heard her...with all that pressure...and I know it was because of all the work she and Billie put into the effort.
I'm so glad my kids have such loving and involved aunts and uncles, as well as grandparents...I'm so lucky, blessed, blissful, content, contented, endowed, favored, fortunate, glad, granted, joyful, joyous (pick you synonym!) for the family that I have, both born and married!

* bablefish...it's a wonderful thing.

Proud Father

2008-01-24T14:37:00.001-05:00

When you have kids, you don't have any idea how things are going to turn out. You do your best when it comes to education, entertainment, religion, friends, family and responsibility, but at the end of the day, you just don't know how things are going to turn out.
Of all the goods and bads that exist in the wonderful world of parenting, I think that worrying about how your kids will turn out is the most ever-present fret.
That said, every once in a while, your kids do something that makes your heart swell with pride and gives you hope that maybe, juuuuusssst maybe, things will turn out okay.
Yesterday, my beautiful daughter Marion did one of those somethings.
For the last few years, she's been playing the flute. It took her quite a while to start getting "good" (my opinion). This year, she's made a marked improvement in her playing. It's been fun to watch (and listen) to her get better.

At the beginning of the school year, she signed up for Solo and Ensemble recital. Her (wonderful) Aunt Billie (yes, that Aunt Billie) signed up to help Marion by being her accompanist in the song.

Over the last several weeks, they've been practicing together every chance they get, and Marion has been practicing even more at home.

I don't recall ever seeing her pour herself into anything more than she has this recital.
Thinking about it, I think there are a couple of reasons for her effort: She's growing up and taking more responsibility (please God, let that be true), she likes to do things that make her parents happy (she's always been a people pleaser)...but most of all, I think the thing that has driven her the most is working with and pleasing her Aunt Billie (yes, that Aunt Billie).
So, all that hard work came to a head yesterday when they had their recital in front of one of the teachers. This seemed like a pre-test for the final grading that comes next week.

For their efforts, they received a 1!!!! SQUEEE!!! (I'm so proud)

I would be remiss if I didn't gush kudos on my darling SIL (yes, that SIL) for her hard work in her part of the duet. She is playing the piano part of the song that they are performing.
Mind you, she's not played the piano (other than for family) in 14 years or so (goodness, she must be getting old!!!). She's done a remarkable job getting back into it after sooooo very many years! (hehehe).
Seriously, thanks Billie! (yes, THAT Billie!)

Doctors Orders

2008-01-21T20:51:00.001-05:00

A middle management executive has to take on some sport by his doctor's orders, so he decides to play tennis.

After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing.

"It's going fine," the manager says. "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding toward me, my brain immediately says, 'To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!'"

"Really? What happens then?" the secretary asks.

"Then my body says, 'Who? Me? You must be kidding!'"

950,663,000

2008-01-11T08:12:00.000-05:00

Nine hundred fifty MILLION six hundred sixty three thousand miles!
That's how far the earth has traveled in it's path around the sun since January 11, 1969....the day I was born.
That's a big number (pick one..the miles traveled or the 39 years I've been around!)

39...Dear Lord! That's like, almost 40! Couple that with the fact that I know have two teenagers living in my house and I've got one foot in the GRAVE!!!!

950596000

2008-01-10T07:37:00.000-05:00

67,000 more miles to go.
Anyone have to go to the bathroom?

950529000

2008-01-09T08:05:00.001-05:00

getting bigger...and at a rate of 67,000 miles per hour!
Inconceivable!

948921000

2008-01-08T07:41:00.000-05:00

whew...that's a big number....and climbing!

947313000

2008-01-07T08:28:00.000-05:00

And counting.....

New Hero

2008-01-03T21:13:00.000-05:00

First, there was Superman. Then Batman. Next came Spiderman. This summer, Iron Man is going to be released.
All cool, and all superheroes...however, none can compare with this story:

An 11-year-old boy demonstrated The Force when he defended his mom by hitting an attacker with a toy lightsaber.

11-year-old boy.
Defended mom.
Used a (toy) LIGHTSABER!!!

How cool is that?

Talk, Dream, Resolve

2008-01-01T20:03:00.000-05:00

Indexed is one of my favorite blogs.
Today, she posted a New Years Day Index that I really liked:

Walk Your Talk
Work Your Plan
Live Your Dream

2008

2008-01-01T10:58:00.000-05:00

blah, blah, blah...Happy New Year...blah, blah, blah

No, seriously....Happy New Year.
Here's to hoping that 2008 brings you all the desires of your heart!

What We Have, Is Failure To Communicate!

2007-12-28T23:04:00.000-05:00

My kids have always been very good at communicating. The twins have always had a great vocabulary and they know how to use it.
My youngest also has a very good grasp of the language.
Today, I discovered one of the ramifications of this particular skill.
Having kids who are good speakers, I sometimes forget that they are just that...kids.
Particularly with Mitch, the young one.
So, today, he asked me to write out some math problems for him to work on......yeah, you read that correctly. He wanted me to write out several math problems so he can practice. In actuallity, he just likes to show off, but I don't care. I think it's cool that he likes to do math. I didn't like to do math until Calc II in college.
So, I wrote out several problems of the form:
20
+ 15
+ 10

He works out the problems and gives them back to me. The first problem was off by a huge number..like 40. I asked him, to review the problem and let me know what he did wrong. After checking it out, he informed me that it was correct!
So, I read the problem to him, and this is where I discovered the problem....
You see, when I write a 2, I make it all loopy...the 2s that he sees are more like the two's in this font...no loops. His little mind saw that, and the closest number he could associate that with was a 6. If you substituted a 6 for the number, then his answer was correct!
After telling him this was a 2, he redid the problem and got it right.
I got to thinking about this....about how experience makes all the difference in the world...how I take for granted what my kids know (and don't know) and how I maybe shouldn't do that.
Also, if you wonder why it's so hard for computers to do things that you may think simple, it's for the very same reason...there's brazillion's of ways to do the same thing, but until you do it (or see it or smell it or taste it) it's very difficult to contextualize things.
Mitch saw a number he hadn't seen before and tried to put it in context...the best he could do was think that Dad had wrote the number backwards!
The cool thing about this is, the next time, he WILL be able to put it into context...we both just got a bit smarter today.

St. Agnes

2007-12-27T11:24:00.000-05:00

Card tricks are good....

The Creative Process

2007-12-22T21:10:00.000-05:00

Probably since high school, I've liked to write. Part of the reason I started this blog is so that I could (hopefully) improve my writing skills. I've enjoyed writing this blog and I enjoy that I look out for things that I'd like to write about.
Also, I've started to try and find information around the writing process itself. Where ideas come from, what to do with them, etc, etc. I've even bought a book!

I've linked to John Scalzi several times over the last few months. One of the reasons why I like his work is precisely because he likes to help aspiring writers (of which, I find myself among).
This month, he's asked dozens of authors that he knows to post something on his blog about the writing process. Today, he's asked Elizabeth Bear, and she's posted a very good thought on the process behind writing a novel.
If you're interested in writing, take a look and let me know what you think.

Do You Know What I Know?

2007-12-20T12:31:00.000-05:00

The Chicago Tribune has a Christmas Carol Quiz online: HERE

I missed 20 out of 25 which is a solid B-.
Not so coincedentally, that's what I graduated both High School and College with.
I'm consistent!

BTW, if you take the quiz, also check out the 'Scared of Santa' pictures too...funny!

p.s. Props to my SIL: Billie for the heads-up on this. You Rock!

Christmas for Geeks

2007-12-19T21:33:00.000-05:00

This was too cool for school.
Somebody's posted Christmas Cards sent out by King George (Lucas) over the last 30 years or so...I wonder if you could find the entire collection on eBay?

Here's my fave:

Just 'cause

2007-12-19T21:29:00.000-05:00

“ In brightest day, in blackest night,
No evil shall escape my sight
Let those who worship evil's might,
Beware my power...Green Lantern's light!”
—Hal Jordan/All Current Lanterns

Love My Nieces (and their dad too, I guess!)

2007-12-18T16:29:00.000-05:00

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Hark, Abbott!

2007-12-13T13:23:00.000-05:00

Ok, so for as long as I can remember, I've been a fan of Abbott and Costello. My all time, number 1 most awesomestly favorite comic skit is Who's On First by A and C.
I used to have it on audio cassette and would listen to it over and over again while I was working.
Recently, while doing some research for a Christmas Party we are having at work, I came across a version of Who's On First, dubbed over Yoda and Jar-Jar Binks. That was pretty funny, so I sent it to my son for his pleasure.
To my shock, horror and SHAME, he informed my wife that he had never heard this skit before. Alas, I have failed as a father....sorry Matt.

She told him to search for the original, which he did and loved, so hopefully, he should recover from my indescretion.

Anyway, since then, I've been watching it again, and while viewing on YouTube, I notice a Shakespearian Version of the the classic skit. This is done very well, and is worth your time to watch. Enjoy:

Geek Sports

2007-12-11T10:44:00.001-05:00

I saw this on Wired* today....AWESOME!

Here's a list of the top 10 Geek Sports:

1) Racewalking
The sporting equivalent of marching band. Inhaler required.

2) Segway Polo
The only sport in the world in which Woz (and his trusty personal transporter) could make the A team.

3) Badminton
When tennis balls get silly drunk, they dress up like shuttlecocks.

4) Hacky Sack
Based on our exhaustive research of this game, prog-rock T-shirts and ponytails aren't mandatory, but they help.

5) Curling
More a physics exercise than physical exercise. Bonus: tracksuits.

6) Jousting
Armor + the potential for internal hemorrhaging = pretty cool. If only the Ren Faire were every weekend.

7) Fencing
The fake swords — they're actually fake lightsabers. (Jedi mind trick.)

8) Disc Golf
In an ideal world, we would all put down our clubs and pick up a disc. Frolf, anyone?

*Hyperlinks mine

Goodbye Evel Knievel....

2007-12-03T10:33:00.000-05:00

Friday was a sad day.
Not sad in the sense that anything drastic or horrible happened to me or my family.
Not sad because someone hurt my feelings.
Not sad for any real, personal, reasons.
Yet, it was sad none the less.
Evel Knievel died on Friday, and that makes me sad.

I started thinking about Evel, when I heard the news, and that sent me back to my childhood.
I can remember, pretty clearly, Saturday afternoons spent in front of the family TV, watching ABC's Wide World of Sports.
That's how I was introduced to Evel Knievel. I remember watching him do his daring stunts on TV and thinking how I wished I could do that.
I wished I could jump all those buses on a motorcycle.
I wished I could jump the fountain at the casino.
I wished I could jump the Snake River*...of course, so did he!

I remember talking about Evel (even his name was cool then!) to my friends, all the time. If I had a dime for everytime I told some one 'He broke every bone in his body at least once!', I wouldn't be rich, but it would be a Merry Christmas!

The cool thing about these kinds of trips down memory lane, is that they usually don't stop there....with what brought you. So it was with me.

I kept thinking about those Saturday afternoons...how many cool or interesting things I used to see. You never knew what you'd get:
The Harlem Globetrotters
Muhammad Ali and Howard Cosell (DOWN GOES FRASIER!!! DOWN GOES FRASIER!!!)
Gymnastics
Figure Skating
and all started with those famous words by Jim McKay (I can still hear him now):

Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport… the thrill of victory… and the agony of defeat… the human drama of athletic competition… this is ABC's Wide World of Sports!

Cool thing about that is, when they said 'agony of defeat', they always showed a picture of this poor fellow, Vinko Bogataj, crashing down a ski jump. My uncle was there, under that ramp and saw the whole thing live. How cool is that!?!?

At the end of the weekend, I realized, 'Yeah, I'm sad that Evel died'. I'm sad for his family, particularly Robbie, who have to deal with this loss. My prayers go out to them.
However, it was a bittersweet sadness. I liked remembering. I liked thinking about those simple times when I was young and I'd put a board over some bricks and pretend I was jumping 25 buses instead of 25 Hot Wheels Cars.
I liked watching Ali beat someone up, or Nadia Comaneci win gold medals, or the Medowlark Lemon toss in a half court hook shot (swish) to beat the Washington Generals (again!).

So, once again, Evel Knievel delivers...if not through the exhilaration of some daring jump, then through a genteel trip down memory lane.

*I think this is also when Evel Jumped the Shark!

Something Is Seriously Wrong Here

2007-11-30T09:21:00.000-05:00

So, you've heard of the teacher in Sudan whose classroom voted to name a teddybear "Muhammad"? At first, when 'some' parents found out, she was apparently tried, convicted and sentenced to 12 days in jail and deportation. Here crime? Insulting Religion.
Now, from my point of view, that punishment would have been a reward. At least she would get out of that nutty land.

However, there has been a new twist. In the Sudan, on Friday, after a bunch of Muslims got out of their service, there was RIOTING IN THE STREETS AND CALLS FOR THIS WOMENS EXECUTION!
ZOMGBBQ!!!11!!1

Here's a pull quote from FoxNews.com

They burned pictures of Gibbons and called for her execution (emphasis mine), saying, "No tolerance: Execution," and "Kill her, kill her by firing squad."

How do you deal with this kind of insanity?
What in the world did these guys hear in their sermons that could make them want to execute a women because she let the kids of her classroom name a teddybear after their precious prophet.

Let's go all the way here...let's assume for a minute that she was malicious. Let's assume that she HATES Muslims and their Prophet, and that she named the bear Muhammad because she's mean and thinks very little of the guy. Let's assume the bear was UGLY and mean looking with a giant L on it's forehead!

STILL! What kind of INSANE, messed up kind of human being do you have to be to make the leap from that to "Oh, well, she deserves to die"?

When someone uses the Lords Name in vain, or says something about God that I don't particularly care for, it can make me upset, or even angry. But if there is one and only one thing I know for sure, it is: My God doesn't need little ole' me to stick up for Big Ole' Him! He got along fine before me and will get along fine after I'm gone. I don't need to fight His battles for him. He can take care of Himself.

Can Muhammad or Allah or whoever say the same? Why do these people feel the need to defend their God and his prophet from mean people like female, British TEACHERS! GAAAH! (calm down Donnie, calm down!)

Folks, that is one crazy religion, and that is one crazy group of people.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-22T10:37:00.000-05:00

No one says Happy Thanksgiving better than my favorite cartoon character!

Change-Not Everything Happens For A Reason

2007-11-15T22:32:00.000-05:00

A few months back, I was introduced to some books by a writer named John Scalzi. They are excellent reads and I highly recommended them. I also was introduced to one of his blogs, which soon became one of my favorite places to lurk.

Every week in his blog, he invites other bloggers to write about a topic of his choice. When you participate, you post the topic and invite others to do so:

Weekend Assignment #191: Show us, or tell us a story about, change. A before and after picture of the street where you grew up, a story about meeting an old friend after many years, two pictures of yourself separated by a number of years, a tale about changing your life, or showing or tell us about something in the process of changing itself. Any of these is good. And doesn't have to be a negative, because sometimes change is a good thing.

Want to play along? Go to John's journal here

This week the topic is Change.
I've been wanting to participate in these assignements for a while, and either I didn't have the guts to try a post, or the topic didn't strike me, so when I saw his post today about this weeks assignement, I started thinking.
At first a few thoughts on my career and how it's changed popped into my head, then thoughts of the kids, our church life and a few other similarly appropriate ideas flitted thru....but nothing stuck out.

That all changed tonight however, when my family and I attended the 3rd annual St. Joseph's NICU fashion show.
One of the main speakers of the night was my dear sister in law, Billie. She was a speaker tonight because she has two, wonderful, little girls who both spent 110 days in the St. Joe's NICU when they were born rediculously early.
During the night, watching my 'little' sister tell the tale of the amazingly difficult and trying time she and her husband have gone thru since the girls were born, I saw, for really the first time, this remarkable women.
Not that Billie hasn't always been remarkable....she has. And not that she hasn't always been a women, she has (hehehe) but I guess I just saw her tonight in a new light.
She's changed...she's grown, she's struggled and she's overcome so very much and that's remarkable. She's remarkable.
Billie in 2004

Billie in 2007

She doesn't look much different, but she's become a strong, determined and formidable advocate for the NICU at St. Joe's as well as a vocal, articulate spokeswomen for raising premature birthing awareness everywhere.

Equally remarkable though is the change in her girls. I could tell you their tale, but I'm not qualified...only Billie and maybe someone as talented as Mr. Scalzi could do it justice. However, I'm posting a few pictures...then and now.
Eden and Holland in 2004:

Eden and Holland, Now:

I'm not entirely sure if this is within the scope of the weekend assignment that John was looking for...pointing to another blog, but if you want to read a story of change, then look to the story of Holland and Eden, the Micropreemie Twins.

Christmas list...Year 2

2007-11-14T15:01:00.000-05:00

Last year I posted a Christmas wish list, so I figured I'd do it again...without the rant.
Feel free to gift any of these!!!
- The Happiest Days of Our Lives by Wil Wheaton
- Guitar Hero Encore: Rock the 80's for the PS2
- Please Santa! I've been goot!!!1!

Gift Cards

iTunes has become a big part of my life now that I have an iPod Touch!
Best Buy
Home Depot
Any one of several dining establishments

T-Shirts!

My Rules
Video Games Ruined My Live
Poker Hand Values
Birds and the Bees
At XKCD there are two shirts, one called Useless and the other called Witty (story of my life!) that are schweet!

Books

Thomas Covenant Books!
Android's Dream

Don't you wonder about what a Christmas List says about you?
What do you think mine says about me?
What does yours say about you?

You know you're a geek when....

2007-11-08T23:05:00.000-05:00

Ingredients List:
1 Star Trek fanatic (check)
1 PS3 Blu-Ray Laser (check)
1 Toy Star Trek Phaser (check)
several pieces of wire and some electrical components (check)

Toss in a dremmel tool and a bit of glue and what do you get?
You get your very own Phaser!

Blu-Ray Laser Phaser! - video powered by Metacafe

You know what this means, don't you?

2007-11-07T21:30:00.000-05:00

SWEET!
A new study came out today...it says being overweight isn't so terrible afterall!

Being 25 pounds overweight doesn't appear to raise your risk of dying from cancer or heart disease, says a new government study that seems to vindicate Grandma's claim that a few extra pounds won't kill you.

I guess that means the DIET'S OVER!!!

Ok, not really, but still, it's kinda good news, but also a little irritating.

Doesn't it seem to always happen? First, some study comes out and says that something we love is bad for us. It can't be something we don't like...oh no...it's something we love. Like chocolate or coffee or wine or whatever.
Wouldn't it be awesome if some study came out and said that paying our bills was detrimental to our health! (ok, I know, it is, but work with me!!)

Could you imagine that conversation: "I'm sorry Mr. Banker, but my health insurance won't cover me so long as I'm paying my car payment....take it up with them!"

So stuff we like is bad for us, then, a few years later, new studies come out and say why the first study was all wet and stupid.
For years we've heard that being even a few pounds overweight is equivalent to putting a gun to your head and pulling the trigger. Now, it comes out that there may actually be BENEFITS to it! Huh? What did I miss?

Chocolate was bad for you...now, not so much.
Coffee was bad for you...now, not so much.
Wine was bad for you...now, not so much.
Being overwieght was bad for you...now, not so much.

Don't get me wrong, all those things CAN be bad for you....in excess.
So can excercise, so can reading, so can tofu (whatever that is!)

I guess God had it right when he said "temperate in all things". Amazing! (sw)

Elbow.
And.
Send.

What! No plans to build flying cars!!!

2007-11-06T09:27:00.001-05:00

Drat!

Mean Automakers Dash Nation's Hope For Flying Cars

I love The Onion!

More Cowbell

2007-10-31T14:03:00.000-05:00

Probably posted this before...and I'll probably post it again, but....
I was listening on my SICK new iPod, and (Don't Fear) The Reaper started flowin' out of it...and of course, that always makes me think: MORE COWBELL!!!!

Shakespearian Insult

2007-10-29T09:22:00.000-05:00

I've got a widget on my iGoogle page that generates Shakespearian Insults...today's was ridiculously cool:

Do you set down your name in the scroll of youth, that are written down old with all the characters of age? Have you not a moist eye, a dry hand, a yellow cheek, a white beard, a decreasing leg, an increasing belly? Is not your voice broken, your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity? And will you yet call yourself young?
-Taken from: Henry IV, part 2

Maybe it's just me...

2007-10-25T11:26:00.000-05:00

Does this hurt your eyes to look at?
It does me!

Technology Update

2007-10-24T14:43:00.000-05:00

Ok, so, from what I understand it's a genetic 'disorder'. My great uncle had it. He passed it down to my dad. My dad passed it on to me, so I've got it, and I'm pretty sure I've passed it on to at least two of my kids.
What might this disorder be you ask? (Go ahead...ask...I'll wait!)
Neophilia
Sounds kinda dirty doesn't it? Well it's not. Basically, I'm a gadget nut.
Well, the latest gadget that I've come into possesion of is an iPod Touch.

Oh dear goodness is this thing cool. I don't even mind having to fiddle around with iTunes in order to get stuff onto it.

It's got a sweet little browser built into it that allows me to surf the web, just like a normal browser (albeit small).

It's got a bit more kick in the volume department than my Nano did, so I can damage my hearing even MORE! CRANK IT TO 11!

The whole Album Browsing thing (I'm sure there's a better name for it, but it, like most things worth knowing, escapes me) is worth the price of admission!

It's got an accelerometer built into it, so it can figure out how your holding the thing and display appropriately. Yeah, I said accelerometer! That's fun to SAY! And I got a gadget with one in it!!!

It also changes the intensity of the picture, based on the brightness of the room you're in!!!

And (oh yeah, there's more!)...I said And, it's got a MULTI TOUCH screen. No single touch sissified screen thingy here...oh no. Multi touch baby!
SWEET!

All in all, this gets five "Dude, this is cool"'s

Dieting Advice You Can Count On

2007-10-24T07:51:00.000-05:00

Since the beginning of the year, I've been concerned about my weight. On and off all year, I've been dieting or exercising. I'm currently in a cycle of doing both, and very much enjoying it.
In doing this, I've learned a great deal about dieting, and many, many people come to me for advice regarding this subject. So, in light of this, I felt I should compile a list of commonly asked questions and answers. They are as follows:

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

Q: How can I calculate my body fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain -- Good.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Food is fried these days in vegetable oil. The fact is they're permeated with it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had.

How many's a Brazilian?

2007-10-22T07:37:00.000-05:00

Being a bit of a geek, and hanging around like minded fellows, I've heard the term brazillion thrown around a bit. I've always wondered exactly how many a brazillion is. Now, I know I'm in good company:

Quote of the Day!

2007-10-19T11:55:00.000-05:00

From The Onion's horoscope page for this week:

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but laziness will be responsible for its decomposition in the middle of your living room floor.

That makes me giggle.....

Agnes Rocks

2007-10-12T08:03:00.000-05:00

Everyday I have a little ritual at work where it check out about a dozen or so comics. I love comics. Have since I was just a wee lad. Of course I do the popular ones, Dilbert, B.C. and such, but I have two that I love that are not so widely known. One is called Kevin and Kell. I've followed it for a few years now. It's strickly web published.
The other, my personal favorite, is called Agnes. Today's comic, in a nutshell, is why she's my favorite:

Human LCD --- Far Out!

2007-10-03T12:17:00.000-05:00

Ok, so who among you love their sports team(s)? You may THINK you love your sports team, but, are you as nutty as these South Korean boys toward their soccer team?

The most amazing thing is that they do this with their CLOTHES (not holding up cards). They apparently have a jacket that is one color on the back, one on the front, and that they can open or close to show a third color shirt on the inside. One school has also figured out how to use their pants to make shading.

Now these are fanatics!

Just 'cause it's perty

2007-09-18T15:23:00.000-05:00

One of my new, favorite bloggers posted a link to this picture.

Click here for the explanation of the picture...